Written in 2012 after a period of three days of having Jesse Jackson's poem "I Am Somebody" on repeat in my head. This piece came out of my head fully-formed soon after, I barely changed a word.
Oh boy! Welcome to the tribe. Once you were let in on the Chinese food on Christmas secret, you officially became an honorary Jew. Mazel Tov! I don't do Hanukah anymore and holidays are days I largely ignore. I celebrate life and my friends and the family members (the ones I like), every day. I find it more meaningful and far more sincere. Great piece, Eileen. xo
Indeed! And remember, once a Jew, always a Jew. My very (not-so-very) kosher grandmother gave an exemption to the no-shrimp/shellfish rule when eating Chinese food (or any other kind of food when shrimp was involved) as long as she never broke her kosher rules at home. She felt that way about lobster too. My father told me he'd watch her hover at any shrimp platter at any party. She'd be responsible for polishing off most of it all by herself. xo
Beautifully honest, Eileen. So vivid that as I read it, it felt like the script of an alt-Xmas indie film, with you as the non-cookie cutter protagonist. Triumphant piece. And yes to Anne Lamott - any time of year. You share her open eyes.
It really does seem to be the time of year when folks expire in record numbers. Can't say I blame them. We do find peace where we can, like sharing pics of ornaments that scream "I'm doing the holiday MMMMYYYY WAAAAYYYYYY"
I join you as a long-standing member of the dislike Christmas club. As one of seven chlldren, I felt the excitement, but more the stress and the comparing of Santa’s gifts to see who was loved more. I felt the pressure my parents - all parents - have at this time of year. As a single parent the pressure to create miracles and magic was overwhelming. The artist in me relented and got busy with some theme — nurse outfit and doctor kit one year; color forms and art supplies the next — because it was easier than bracing and trying to withstand the cultural tidal wave. This year, as a 67 year old, I have recently been attending a UU church with my daughter and grand-daughter. Its amazing to be in spiritual community and not have to say “Our Father…” because at UU they don’t. Yesterday, the theme of the service was PRAISE. The service was almost entirely sung accompanied by an actual symphony. Praise be. At the front of the church there is no suffering christ on a cross, but a gorgeous stained glass window of an angel helping a wounded man (one with a limp I suspect). The first snow accumulating outside, quietly, as voices of all kinds harmonized their way to heaven.
I love your newfound multigenerational joy with the Unitarians! That's what I think church SHOULD be...community coming together, helping one another, enjoying music and thinking about praise and other juicy topics. Thank you for sharing your slice of bliss with us.
Yes! Chinatown is the best place to celebrate Xmas! I think even baby Jesus would’ve bailed on boob and opted for Kung Pao shrimp. With a name like that, who could resist?
You ARE a modern-day Midwestern Scheherazade, which is one of the many, many things I love about you. Never stop telling stories. And I'll scream WHYYYYYY with you anytime!
Eileen, I read this at the front end of the day and again at the end. Wow! It’s astonishing how much you packed into this piece. Or should I say how much poured out of you all at once.
Thanks for being honest and sensitive, vulnerable and courageous. Thanks for writing in ways that make all of us feel seen. Thanks for being somebody I deeply admire. I’ve done that bit of eating Chinese food on Christmas Day, more than once, but with less heart.
I swear, though, your limp looks an awful lot like flying to me.
Thanks for double dipping on the reading, that is a compliment I take seriously. I'm sure your Chinese food holidays had just as much heart...that's how you roll. ❤️
In all honesty, they were mostly practical. There were times when the kiddos were small that we opted to travel *on* Christmas Day, to save having to fit the whole deal into someone else's tradition. We needed to eat, and the Chinese places were typically what we could find open. #sograteful
This is why you are a lifeline, Eileen. You refuse to capitulate to the common narrative. You say I MATTER, and I so appreciate seeing how it’s done! For years I had the inner shame b/c I didn’t have a spouse or kids. And the holidays just highlighted how wrong I felt. But getting off the beaten track and finding there’s still lots of light is transformative. Shine on!
Thanks for the affirmation, Liz. I so appreciate you sharing that this post helped you to see that there's nothing wrong with being a single soul. You can do and see and be anyone who suits you, screw those boring nincompoops chasing the status quo. :) xo
Excellent. I love your grinchie heart and your whyyyyy? Oh, the Christmas letter. I usually spend the day in “eating clothes,” read: elastic waist band, and my two favorite guys, Tom and Liam. The day is deliciously long because no one is coming and we can do whatever we want. I love the way you write about real life stories. That’s where the heart is.
I love your elastic eating pants and carefree attitude! No one coming and doing what you want with your two best fellas sounds like a dream. Keep up the good work, Susan, you're my kinda holiday gal.
Oh boy! Welcome to the tribe. Once you were let in on the Chinese food on Christmas secret, you officially became an honorary Jew. Mazel Tov! I don't do Hanukah anymore and holidays are days I largely ignore. I celebrate life and my friends and the family members (the ones I like), every day. I find it more meaningful and far more sincere. Great piece, Eileen. xo
ps thank you for my perfect little to-go box and chopsticks.
YOU ARE very welcome. Because you'll need them for your leftovers. There should always be leftovers. xo
I am kvelling at my honorary status, kvelling I tell you! (I won't do the accent, I promise)
Every day is a holiday if you want it to be. I like your attitude, NFT.
Indeed! And remember, once a Jew, always a Jew. My very (not-so-very) kosher grandmother gave an exemption to the no-shrimp/shellfish rule when eating Chinese food (or any other kind of food when shrimp was involved) as long as she never broke her kosher rules at home. She felt that way about lobster too. My father told me he'd watch her hover at any shrimp platter at any party. She'd be responsible for polishing off most of it all by herself. xo
Chinese food for Christmas = winning life
Beautifully honest, Eileen. So vivid that as I read it, it felt like the script of an alt-Xmas indie film, with you as the non-cookie cutter protagonist. Triumphant piece. And yes to Anne Lamott - any time of year. You share her open eyes.
Thank you, Stewart. It's one of my favorite pieces ever; I was happy to post it as I've never published it anywhere before today.
A wonderful comparison with Ms. Lamott..I recently found out she watches Below Deck so we have the same taste in trashy reality shows as well. :)
You know how I feel about this!!
And, as far as Chinese on Christmas....I put "Christmastime for the Jews" on the playlist I just made. An inspired idea.
Love this piece. Having experienced several deaths close to the holidays, we find our peace where we can. xo
Playlist - SAVED.
It really does seem to be the time of year when folks expire in record numbers. Can't say I blame them. We do find peace where we can, like sharing pics of ornaments that scream "I'm doing the holiday MMMMYYYY WAAAAYYYYYY"
I join you as a long-standing member of the dislike Christmas club. As one of seven chlldren, I felt the excitement, but more the stress and the comparing of Santa’s gifts to see who was loved more. I felt the pressure my parents - all parents - have at this time of year. As a single parent the pressure to create miracles and magic was overwhelming. The artist in me relented and got busy with some theme — nurse outfit and doctor kit one year; color forms and art supplies the next — because it was easier than bracing and trying to withstand the cultural tidal wave. This year, as a 67 year old, I have recently been attending a UU church with my daughter and grand-daughter. Its amazing to be in spiritual community and not have to say “Our Father…” because at UU they don’t. Yesterday, the theme of the service was PRAISE. The service was almost entirely sung accompanied by an actual symphony. Praise be. At the front of the church there is no suffering christ on a cross, but a gorgeous stained glass window of an angel helping a wounded man (one with a limp I suspect). The first snow accumulating outside, quietly, as voices of all kinds harmonized their way to heaven.
I love your newfound multigenerational joy with the Unitarians! That's what I think church SHOULD be...community coming together, helping one another, enjoying music and thinking about praise and other juicy topics. Thank you for sharing your slice of bliss with us.
Yes! Chinatown is the best place to celebrate Xmas! I think even baby Jesus would’ve bailed on boob and opted for Kung Pao shrimp. With a name like that, who could resist?
Ha! Rumor has it baby Jesus would go Virgin Mary milk lactose intolerant for a plate of egg rolls. I think it's in the New Testament?
Yes, I learned that in Sunday school too.
Why do you think Jews and Chinese food on Christmas is such a cliche? I love your voice and phrasing. Scherazade away….
You ARE a modern-day Midwestern Scheherazade, which is one of the many, many things I love about you. Never stop telling stories. And I'll scream WHYYYYYY with you anytime!
I knew I could count on you as an honorary Kerrigan. WHHHHYYYYY just says it all sometimes.
Love this. And you!
xo 😘❤️
Eileen, I love your writing so much. I’m always so happy to see you in my inbox. Can’t wait to check out Wham!Bam! xx
Non-seasonal greetings to you! Great stuff as always. Not being made of stone is the best way to be. Loveyou
Eileen, I read this at the front end of the day and again at the end. Wow! It’s astonishing how much you packed into this piece. Or should I say how much poured out of you all at once.
Thanks for being honest and sensitive, vulnerable and courageous. Thanks for writing in ways that make all of us feel seen. Thanks for being somebody I deeply admire. I’ve done that bit of eating Chinese food on Christmas Day, more than once, but with less heart.
I swear, though, your limp looks an awful lot like flying to me.
Thanks for double dipping on the reading, that is a compliment I take seriously. I'm sure your Chinese food holidays had just as much heart...that's how you roll. ❤️
In all honesty, they were mostly practical. There were times when the kiddos were small that we opted to travel *on* Christmas Day, to save having to fit the whole deal into someone else's tradition. We needed to eat, and the Chinese places were typically what we could find open. #sograteful
So relatable and on the edge as always Eileen. There's a lot here and once again I'm glad our paths have entwined. Chinese food plan ...brilliant. J
Thanks, J. Looking forward to catching up soon. xo
This is why you are a lifeline, Eileen. You refuse to capitulate to the common narrative. You say I MATTER, and I so appreciate seeing how it’s done! For years I had the inner shame b/c I didn’t have a spouse or kids. And the holidays just highlighted how wrong I felt. But getting off the beaten track and finding there’s still lots of light is transformative. Shine on!
Thanks for the affirmation, Liz. I so appreciate you sharing that this post helped you to see that there's nothing wrong with being a single soul. You can do and see and be anyone who suits you, screw those boring nincompoops chasing the status quo. :) xo
Excellent. I love your grinchie heart and your whyyyyy? Oh, the Christmas letter. I usually spend the day in “eating clothes,” read: elastic waist band, and my two favorite guys, Tom and Liam. The day is deliciously long because no one is coming and we can do whatever we want. I love the way you write about real life stories. That’s where the heart is.
I love your elastic eating pants and carefree attitude! No one coming and doing what you want with your two best fellas sounds like a dream. Keep up the good work, Susan, you're my kinda holiday gal.
Thank you for this, Eileen.
You're welcome, Miss Ally.
I remember reading your first substack essay and thinking - “Man, so glad she is here. What a great writer and story teller.” Still feel this way….
You've been with me a long time and I soooo appreciate it.