Observations of America

Here’s hoping none of this applies to you.

As someone raised by a narcissistic parent, I am naturally a keen observer. I had to shapeshift to be helpful in any situation, so I became hyper vigilant on taking in information and processing it at a young age. I’ve always preferred to look at my twenty three plus years as a flight attendant as “spy work”; it keeps it bubbly even after the Diet Coke goes flat. 

Since Wednesday morning, I have limited my intake of news to a trickle. I’ve mostly been here on Substack reading well written pieces that generally fall into the Rage/Call to Action column or the Hope and Love Will Always Win Over Hate column. Both are important and valid and often come with a stirring James Baldwin quote. Thankfully much less Now Is Time To Unite and Try To Understand the Other Side than in 2016, because seriously, FUCK THAT SHIT. 

But this time all of the above feels like a repeated pep talk/battle cry. This is how we dust ourselves off after getting kicked in the face. It is imperative to write to try to clarify this moment in time for ourselves and to find solace in like minded individuals. I’m not saying any of it is an empty gesture.

But unless you’re going to be personally affected, people forget. 

I started flying in May of 2001 so I was tremendously green on September 11th. I recall being moved beyond belief at the stories of sacrifice and courage, at how there was such a sweeping sense of bonding under one designation: we were Americans. 🇺🇸

Four years later to the day, I told several passengers (older white men) that they could not wait by the cockpit door to use the bathroom as a safety measure and company policy. I received a dismissive “Do I look like a terrorist to you?” followed by them hissing at me when I walked down the aisle, calling me the BATHROOM NAZI. On 9/11. Fun.

“Never Forget” was a slogan we put on stickers and handed out for a year or two. 

People forget. 

In more recent history, remember a mere four years ago when people were boarding planes in space suits and rubbing the color off the seats with Clorox wipes? The airplane had never been so clean. I can assure you folks are fully back to open mouth coughing in your face and letting their babies eat stuff on the floor. I’ve even had coworkers mock passengers wearing masks recently, as in “OMG someone tell them we’re not doing that anymore”. 

People forget.

It’s self preservation, really. No one wants to hold on to horrible memories. Everyone wants to “get back to normal”, whatever that means to them.

I used to feel my job was a very “reap what you sow” kind of a thing; if I came to work with negativity, it was all I encountered, if I came bearing light, I attracted the same. But there’s been an insidious shift in the general public I’ve seen universally. I fly all over the country, I come in contact with hundreds of people a day from the reddest of red state rednecks to the wokest of the blue state libtards. For the most part, people are just checked the fuck out. Everyone from nine months to ninety has a screen and they are all hopelessly enamored with it. 

And I get it. I travel too, and losing yourself in a movie to kill time while flying is such an upgrade from staring at the seat in front of you or *shudder* making conversation. Rest assured, I wear premium cans when I fly for fun, shiny metal earmuffs that scream Do Not Talk To Me. Ever.

But there’s a new level of dissociation now that’s alarming to me. I’ve stopped trying to get anyone’s attention to see if they want anything, I now devote extra time to getting the attention of the people who did ask for something. More often than not, I have to put my entire hand between the screen and their face and wave it around. And it’s not like they’re getting swept away by the end of Schlinder’s List; they are watching Fox News or Tik Tok or reruns of The Big Bang Theory or something equally disposable. 

It’s not just on the plane. It’s in the airport, it’s on the shuttle to the hotel, it’s in restaurants and parking lots and Trader Joe’s and the train and the library. There is zero situational awareness, no acknowledgment of one’s place in the present moment. It’s also now socially acceptable to not listen when someone talks to you, to “ghost” others when a simple “No, thanks” would take ten seconds, and to say shit that makes no sense to absolve yourself of responsibility (“It sounded like you said to slam the door in your face!”) instead simply saying “hey, whoops, my bad, excuse me, sorry”.

I guess I’m telling you that people are generally way more comfortable being pieces of shit of late. And piece of shit people say things like “Doesn’t really matter who wins, it’s all the same” and “I did my own research”. In the 107 days of Kamala’s campaign, I heard very few conversations of substance out in the world. Online, certainly. On television, to be sure. It made me believe people were tuned in to this pivotal race. But there are so so so many people who don’t care about politics, who don’t care about social issues, who don’t care about anything unless it has their fucking name on it. They don’t have opinions about authoritarianism because they have no idea what that means. I worked with someone yesterday who only eats chicken nuggets or tenders. Breaded processed chicken is the only thing he understands. That’s what we’re dealing with. 

Of course all these sheeple got sucked into the Dollar Store Dictator show because it didn’t ask anything from them. Stuffy suits talking about policy? NO. Lady with weird laugh discussing health care reform? BORING. Put on the temperamental orange man hour, he is WILD. And then let’s have hours of talking heads discussing whether Shitler’s last gaffe will be the one that costs him votes and whether Bad Bunny can move the needle with Gen Z. Oh look, we changed the channel. Attention span, POOF. 

Ok, we’ve officially reached TLDR territory. Let’s discuss my action plan. As with all things internet, take what works for you and leave the rest behind. Despite the fact that I just rambled on about how the American people are a swath of self absorbed dopes, it’s not like I’m wearing an ascot reading Proust or anything. I’m just another sad angry libtard who dared to believe that 2016 was a one hit wonder.

THINGS I AM DOING TO STAY SANE OR POSSIBLY SANE ADJACENT

• Embracing Winter’s Endless Night: Dark at 4:30 pm? Sounds amazing. I intend to rest as much as humanly possible. Other acts of self care include taking meds on schedule, advocating for myself at doctor’s appointments, not substituting protein bars for actual food on a loop. The self care that’s not a spa day can be a bitch to maintain.

• Limiting News: I currently look at BBC news and a few other unbiased sources once or twice a day. I took YouTube off my tv. I can’t watch the late night show hosts crack jokes right now. This may never be funny to me. Also hours of “staying informed” does not equate to actually “doing something” about it. It just gives your head more sound bites to gnash on, waking you up at 2 am wondering if maybe Bad Bunny really did move the needle? This is akin to revving your car in the garage until it runs out of gas.

• Banishing Socials: As soon as I saw Zuckertwerp congratulating Trump, I shut down my Facebook and my Instagram. My FB was a friendless dummy account I used for monitoring goings on in our neighborhood and light stalking and my IG was a seldom used place for memes and shopping for sweaters, but it immediately had to go. I haven’t forgotten that fucking guy and his algorithm fuckery that favors us all ripping each other to shreds because it gets more clicks. And he radicalized your grandma. Hard no.

• Supporting the Vulnerable: If this election was about the “economy”, let us continue to vote with our wallets. I go through most major cities and some minor ones for work. If you know of any businesses that are owned and operated by women of color, immigrants, LGBTQ+ and transgender folks, or anyone else who is being targeted by the upcoming administration, POST THEM IN THE COMMENTS. I will spend money there. I will tell/bring other cool people. Companies to avoid/boycott? Let’s get a list going. If I walk into your establishment and it has Fox News on, I’m leaving.

• Jokes or any other pro MAGA bullshit will incur something between an icy stare and a report to HR. I’m done. And please don’t tell me “It’s funny!” because I will assure you one of the most basic rules of comedy is if you have to tell me it’s funny, it most certainly is NOT.

• I will also be using my older lady invisibility power to commit random acts of petty misconduct and retribution.

I’ve talked plenty. What are you doing to stay sane? This is where I come to believe that there are loads of smart people who do care. Help me to keep believing. Pretty please. 

In our next episode, I’m gearing up for some brain surgery next year and I’d love to tell you all about it!!! Maybe for an upcharge they can erase the last decade.