Oh, my darling friend, I am proud of you every fucking day you get through everything you're dealing with. I have watched you almost daily meet what I would consider almost insurmountable challenges with unparalleled grace. You are and will continue to be an inspiration to me.
AND yes! I think I said the same thing to you the other night about not wanting to watch "Still" because it's so sad. I had someone in my life who had PD. So I was projecting my experience instead of coming to it fresh, with new eyes. And you told me that wasn't your experience at all of the film. So I watched it with that in mind the other night, and fell in love with MJF...well, not the same kind of love I feel for his wife, Tracey Pollan, because I've been crushing on her since Family Ties. Proclivities, proclivities, I do digress. But the love I felt for him watching him in his clarity and humility is so beautiful. He shares those qualities with you. We have a choice to show up or not in this life, and none of us knows or can really control how that life happens. We can only respond. You show up every day. I'm so lucky to be your friend, to have been invited into your circle of devotees. You have been a magnificent friend to me and I'm grateful for you.
And, fuck ALL the fuckwads...you know who I mean. Talk to you later, cookie. Love you a ton. xo
Thank you for being a menschette and watching the film with new eyes. MJF is such a guiding light for me...I love that in interviews when the bobblehead chatting him up mentions one of his achievements followed by "And you have Parkinson's!", MJF will often say "And you have whatever you have!" It's true, there is no control over the cards you're dealt, you just gotta play them the best you can. And I LOVE that after almost 40 years together, he mentions how IN LOVE he still is with Tracey (she is a hottie 🔥) and that his family has zero pity for him, in fact they seem to be having the best time ever, laughing and poking fun at each other.
I'm lucky to have you as well. Who else is going to give me good advice like "just say thank you" and "why don't you send a card?" I'll always be a Nan fan 🫶
I am impressed by the amount of fucks you are able to generate, all things considered. They alone could probably power a small device, maybe someone could look into that for you?! Love xxx
Ooooh, anxiety powered devices! Genius idea, Jody. Let's harness the power of natural energy. I could probably use mine to scramble crypto data or light up Times Square.
You looking fucking hot in that serious picture and you fucking are doing this incredibly fucking hard thing in the most fucked of fuckery times. Rooting for you.
You are so fucking kind, Genessa. I have the hottest cheer squad ever. Living in this timeline of fuckery makes me appreciate the good people so much more. 💞
Fuck it all - the list is endless. Everything is broken.
I'm sorry to hear that it's been such a long, painful process. Still hoping that the longterm outcome will make this less awful in the rearview. Holding your hand from very far away.
So glad to see this post. I have been waiting for it....seemss like for fucking ever! And all I have been worried about lately is whether my riding mower will last through the month. Otherwise, my 80 year old ass will be mowing 2 acres with the crappy 30 year old putt-putt mower. Really, that's what it sounds like! Like it's dying.
But back to you. You're a strong, capable, loveable woman that hundreds know on Substack. Those hundreds are all here cheering you on, mentally holding your hand and giving out love-thug hugs. Bless you and keep us in the loop.❤️💞💝
Fuck people who board the elevator before others can get off! Fuck people who don’t understand merging etiquette! Fuck people who "devil's advocate" your lived experience. Fuck the dog hair that appears immediately after you've lint-rolled.
OMG THE ELEVATOR THING. Preach, girl. You're not saving any time by making me wrestle my way out of the damn thing. Also please do not stop at the end of the escalator and look at your phone. I have no choice but plow you over. People who "devil's advocate" can go back to hell, isn't that where they got their training?
You are a gem, Caroline. The wisest 30 year on the planet.
You are a warrior gurl. It doesent feel that way everyday. Ask any super hero. What you are surmounting is epic. You take time to fill in the world on a place not many see much less understand. You are bright and funny about the scariest of monsters. You battle them. You continue to be amazing. We love you.
I feel the love! And I appreciate your mention of illuminating a place not many see or understand. I'm so engulfed in it, I often feel like a broken record. It's been.a pivotal decision to keep posting here...I not only get love and support from you all, but I feel like I'm writing what I would want to see if I were about to go through this or something similar. The best part of the internet is not feeling alone in your struggles, that you can reach people outside your regular sphere of influence. Thanks for the boost. ❤️
I'm just glad you're still writing (thanks, Nan) and have the energy to give and not give so many energetic fucks. You are a life force, Eileen, and as such have every right to be fucking angry at this seemingly endless nightmare you've been put through. You are a fighter and warrior queen and I have no doubt that you will emerge on the other side with a few scars but also pride of not having surrendered but defeated the beast. Cross my fingers and toes and eyes and whatnot for you and send much admiration and love.
Thank you for the pep talk. You always pump me up. I am on the other side of anger, I do enjoy its energizing properties. Ready to slay some dragons now.
Great write up. Thanks. When someone writes so eloquently and with such wit and wisdom, I feel like it’s easier for us readers to pretend that you’re not in such pain and despair. I’m sorry that you are and have been, and I’m also sorry that dumb fucks like me need reminding.
There are no dumb fucks in these parts (actually I'm sure there are but I don't see them) and we all could use a reminder now and then. I have a lot of people in my life that have told me they didn't know how shitty things have been because I didn't say anything. Sometimes you just want to pretend to be ok because for that moment you can believe that being ok is attainable. I always enjoy seeing you here, you are a die hard love thug ❤️
I am so proud of you for having all these fucks to give….. and to still be writing through it. Idk what to think about no PEMF, sauna or neck massages. Cold plunge makes me positively euphoric like I just ate 10 grams of mushrooms.
But I do know that you are strong like whiskey and tenacious as hell which has helped you get thru this awful disease with wit and grace. You haven’t lost either. And you won’t lose this battle, either.
RAWR! I'm trying, P. I am looking forward to having you guide me to better mitochondria. I hope you didn't sustain any injuries trying to walk that pony around London. 😂
Fireworks tomorrow! Even if I feel like a plastic bag, like a house of cards, one blow from caving in....
I am that person who simply does not have the words to say anything meaningful. What I can contribute is fuck fuck fuckety fuck. Despite not knowing you I believe you are a fucking amazing, brilliantly courageous warrior.
Fuck the fucking fuck. Mother fucker is my favorite swear - because I get so angry when the mother energy gets fucked. And these days, there is a lot of mother fucking pain!
Fuck everything, indeed. And fuck - ESPECIALLY - toxic motherfucking positivity. It can suck it. ❤️❤️❤️sending you a huge hug and an even huger ice cold martini
Hugs and martinis make all things better. I was just at the Warbler on a Saturday and I almost pulled the "I just had brain surgery and my doctor says I can't be near screaming children" card. Luckily there was plenty of room at the bar. Thanks for the solidarity of swears. 💖
Fuck, yeah. So fucking much. To every fucking word. ❤️ I'm glad you included the staple photo. We all need to be so much more real than we're used to being.
I know you understand the brain train and the aftermaths of derailments. I think being real is our secret weapon...if you're not kinda fucked up over the state of things, I doubt you have a soul. Appreciate you a ton, Rita. ❤️
Oh, my darling friend, I am proud of you every fucking day you get through everything you're dealing with. I have watched you almost daily meet what I would consider almost insurmountable challenges with unparalleled grace. You are and will continue to be an inspiration to me.
AND yes! I think I said the same thing to you the other night about not wanting to watch "Still" because it's so sad. I had someone in my life who had PD. So I was projecting my experience instead of coming to it fresh, with new eyes. And you told me that wasn't your experience at all of the film. So I watched it with that in mind the other night, and fell in love with MJF...well, not the same kind of love I feel for his wife, Tracey Pollan, because I've been crushing on her since Family Ties. Proclivities, proclivities, I do digress. But the love I felt for him watching him in his clarity and humility is so beautiful. He shares those qualities with you. We have a choice to show up or not in this life, and none of us knows or can really control how that life happens. We can only respond. You show up every day. I'm so lucky to be your friend, to have been invited into your circle of devotees. You have been a magnificent friend to me and I'm grateful for you.
And, fuck ALL the fuckwads...you know who I mean. Talk to you later, cookie. Love you a ton. xo
Thank you for being a menschette and watching the film with new eyes. MJF is such a guiding light for me...I love that in interviews when the bobblehead chatting him up mentions one of his achievements followed by "And you have Parkinson's!", MJF will often say "And you have whatever you have!" It's true, there is no control over the cards you're dealt, you just gotta play them the best you can. And I LOVE that after almost 40 years together, he mentions how IN LOVE he still is with Tracey (she is a hottie 🔥) and that his family has zero pity for him, in fact they seem to be having the best time ever, laughing and poking fun at each other.
I'm lucky to have you as well. Who else is going to give me good advice like "just say thank you" and "why don't you send a card?" I'll always be a Nan fan 🫶
Yay! xo
I am impressed by the amount of fucks you are able to generate, all things considered. They alone could probably power a small device, maybe someone could look into that for you?! Love xxx
Ooooh, anxiety powered devices! Genius idea, Jody. Let's harness the power of natural energy. I could probably use mine to scramble crypto data or light up Times Square.
You looking fucking hot in that serious picture and you fucking are doing this incredibly fucking hard thing in the most fucked of fuckery times. Rooting for you.
You are so fucking kind, Genessa. I have the hottest cheer squad ever. Living in this timeline of fuckery makes me appreciate the good people so much more. 💞
Fuck it all - the list is endless. Everything is broken.
I'm sorry to hear that it's been such a long, painful process. Still hoping that the longterm outcome will make this less awful in the rearview. Holding your hand from very far away.
I feel you across the miles. Talk soon. xoxoxo 💕
So glad to see this post. I have been waiting for it....seemss like for fucking ever! And all I have been worried about lately is whether my riding mower will last through the month. Otherwise, my 80 year old ass will be mowing 2 acres with the crappy 30 year old putt-putt mower. Really, that's what it sounds like! Like it's dying.
But back to you. You're a strong, capable, loveable woman that hundreds know on Substack. Those hundreds are all here cheering you on, mentally holding your hand and giving out love-thug hugs. Bless you and keep us in the loop.❤️💞💝
You can't do 2 acres with a putt-putt mower! Mowing the lawn is tough stuff.
I'm always glad to see you here. Your thug hugs make me feel snug as a bug in a rug. ❤️
Fuck people who board the elevator before others can get off! Fuck people who don’t understand merging etiquette! Fuck people who "devil's advocate" your lived experience. Fuck the dog hair that appears immediately after you've lint-rolled.
I’m mad about you!! 2 days. We’ve got you!!
OMG THE ELEVATOR THING. Preach, girl. You're not saving any time by making me wrestle my way out of the damn thing. Also please do not stop at the end of the escalator and look at your phone. I have no choice but plow you over. People who "devil's advocate" can go back to hell, isn't that where they got their training?
You are a gem, Caroline. The wisest 30 year on the planet.
Straight to hell, all these people!!!!
Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck
ing brilliant. <3
Thank you for that chorus of fuuuucccckkkks 💞
You are a warrior gurl. It doesent feel that way everyday. Ask any super hero. What you are surmounting is epic. You take time to fill in the world on a place not many see much less understand. You are bright and funny about the scariest of monsters. You battle them. You continue to be amazing. We love you.
I feel the love! And I appreciate your mention of illuminating a place not many see or understand. I'm so engulfed in it, I often feel like a broken record. It's been.a pivotal decision to keep posting here...I not only get love and support from you all, but I feel like I'm writing what I would want to see if I were about to go through this or something similar. The best part of the internet is not feeling alone in your struggles, that you can reach people outside your regular sphere of influence. Thanks for the boost. ❤️
I'm just glad you're still writing (thanks, Nan) and have the energy to give and not give so many energetic fucks. You are a life force, Eileen, and as such have every right to be fucking angry at this seemingly endless nightmare you've been put through. You are a fighter and warrior queen and I have no doubt that you will emerge on the other side with a few scars but also pride of not having surrendered but defeated the beast. Cross my fingers and toes and eyes and whatnot for you and send much admiration and love.
Thank you for the pep talk. You always pump me up. I am on the other side of anger, I do enjoy its energizing properties. Ready to slay some dragons now.
Much love and appreciation for you, my dear. 💞
Great write up. Thanks. When someone writes so eloquently and with such wit and wisdom, I feel like it’s easier for us readers to pretend that you’re not in such pain and despair. I’m sorry that you are and have been, and I’m also sorry that dumb fucks like me need reminding.
There are no dumb fucks in these parts (actually I'm sure there are but I don't see them) and we all could use a reminder now and then. I have a lot of people in my life that have told me they didn't know how shitty things have been because I didn't say anything. Sometimes you just want to pretend to be ok because for that moment you can believe that being ok is attainable. I always enjoy seeing you here, you are a die hard love thug ❤️
I am so proud of you for having all these fucks to give….. and to still be writing through it. Idk what to think about no PEMF, sauna or neck massages. Cold plunge makes me positively euphoric like I just ate 10 grams of mushrooms.
But I do know that you are strong like whiskey and tenacious as hell which has helped you get thru this awful disease with wit and grace. You haven’t lost either. And you won’t lose this battle, either.
Cheers to the fireworks on 7/9! 🥂💖
RAWR! I'm trying, P. I am looking forward to having you guide me to better mitochondria. I hope you didn't sustain any injuries trying to walk that pony around London. 😂
Fireworks tomorrow! Even if I feel like a plastic bag, like a house of cards, one blow from caving in....
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I am that person who simply does not have the words to say anything meaningful. What I can contribute is fuck fuck fuckety fuck. Despite not knowing you I believe you are a fucking amazing, brilliantly courageous warrior.
Those are plenty of meaningful words as far as I'm concerned. Thank you for reading and adding to the fuckety fuck pile. I'm glad you're here. 💖
Fuck the fucking fuck. Mother fucker is my favorite swear - because I get so angry when the mother energy gets fucked. And these days, there is a lot of mother fucking pain!
This mess is a mother fucker. Sometimes you have to call it as you see it.
Fuck everything, indeed. And fuck - ESPECIALLY - toxic motherfucking positivity. It can suck it. ❤️❤️❤️sending you a huge hug and an even huger ice cold martini
Hugs and martinis make all things better. I was just at the Warbler on a Saturday and I almost pulled the "I just had brain surgery and my doctor says I can't be near screaming children" card. Luckily there was plenty of room at the bar. Thanks for the solidarity of swears. 💖
Fuck, yeah. So fucking much. To every fucking word. ❤️ I'm glad you included the staple photo. We all need to be so much more real than we're used to being.
I know you understand the brain train and the aftermaths of derailments. I think being real is our secret weapon...if you're not kinda fucked up over the state of things, I doubt you have a soul. Appreciate you a ton, Rita. ❤️
Thanks, Eileen. All the best people I know are kinda fucked up over the state of things. Here's to wielding our secret weapons for good. 💪🏻
Hi Eileen,
What a fucking good read. Honest. Real.
Thank you, Nan, for directing me here.
And stop and reset. That's fucking brilliant.
Being honest is infinitely easier than trying to sell a cheesy facade. Glad you're into it.
Nan always brings me the best people. I subscribed to your stack so I can get to know you as well.